The Crazy Things We Make Up

Updated: Dec 5, 2020

This week has been fun and we have gotten a lot accomplished but not much sailing or cruising. Our new friends on our buddy boat, Maryellen and Bill on Sea Escape, determined that they needed solar panels to meet their energy needs before heading to the Bahamas. They had friends gracious enough to allow us to use their docks/home while we collect the necessary materials and prepare to leave the country. The kindness of fellow sailors never ceases to amaze me. So many recognize what a gift it is while cruising to be able to get to a store, stock up on provisions or do laundry. These friends, however, went over the top with their generosity and it was greatly appreciated!

On top of boat projects, we’ve used the time to explore the beautiful Hobe Sound area both by dinghy and car and have tried out some new adult beverages and outdoor restaurants! It’s nice to take a boat break.

I also got to celebrate a birthday this week! My Mom repeated the story of my birth, from Thanksgiving Day in 1958. She had eaten a great deal and figured she was having some indigestion, but my Grandma Solveig told her it was time to go to the hospital to have her baby. She insisted that she had to wash her feet first and recounted trying to get one foot at a time into the sink to clean her feet with her big ole belly and contractions. The memory brought a giggle to her and the visualization of very pregnant, newly 17 yr. old girl with her feet in the sink, brought a giggle to me too. I had heard to always wear clean underwear in case you had to go to the hospital but not about the necessity for clean feet!

My parents were just children when I was born. Back in the 50’s girls weren’t allowed to go to school if they were pregnant, so my mom had to drop out. We lived in the basement of my paternal grandparent’s house on the farm in South Dakota. I heard I slept in a drawer for a time. As I grew up, I would overhear adults talk…That I was an “accident”, how my arrival disrupted their lives and how my parent should have given me up. (Children hear more than you think!). In my child like mind, I interpreted those messages that somehow, I shouldn’t have been born. Living out of that false belief had me feel like there was something that I had to do to prove that I deserved to be here.

As time went on, I saw my Dad make a huge contribution in the political arena. One of my first memories of him was typing away at the typewriter, writing a speech. He stopped, looked at me and said, “Our job is to leave the world a better place than we found it!” then went back to typing. So now I had 2 beliefs to work from. I needed to prove my value AND leave the world a better place than I found it.

Then I watched my mom. I watched her go back to school to get her GED. I saw her keep a pristine home, have dinner on the table at 5:30 every night and attend ALL the events of ALL of her children. Now I had 3 beliefs to operate out of…I needed to prove my worth, leave the world a better place than I found it AND be a perfect mother and housekeeper. Whew! No pressure there!

I’m working hard at no longer letting my interpretation of events dictate my way of being. When I can separate the facts about a situation from my interpretation of these facts, it allows me to see where I might be creating misery for myself or others. I can usually tell when I’m totally making something up which gives me the freedom of choosing a different interpretation if it works better! When I can communicate my needs clearly and let others know what I’m thinking, it keeps them from having to make false interpretations about what I might be thinking too.

So, as I begin my 63rd rotation around the sun, I’m committed to operating out of some new beliefs… I am whole and complete and don’t need to prove anything to anyone…Our “home/boat” can be as clean or dirty as we’re comfortable with…Our children are adults and have all the skills they need to create the life they want… I can trust others to tell me what they want and need from me and don’t need to try and figure it out. I can ask for what I need from others and not expect them to be able to read my mind. How freeing!

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